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Silicon
Valley Chapter
Silicon Valley, California Military Officers Association of America |
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General Local InformationWe should display our
flag on these holidays. Other
days to remember in 2007
529 Plans
Do you have a story to tell,
a memory to share or a piece of history to preserve? If so, visit the
Veterans History Project at www.loc.gov/folklife/.
The Department of Veteran Affairs has published a new guide for Agent Orange related issues; log on to, www.va.gov/agentorange/docs/IDAO_Brochure.PDF. Were you awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross Medal? If so, you may want to join The Distinguished Flying Cross Society! You may contact them toll free at 1-866-332-6332 or visit their web site at www.dfcsociety.org. Are you a golfer? The annual National Retired Military Golf Classic will be held May 30 - June 3, 2006 in Myrtle Beach, SC. For applications, call 1-800-255-4763 or 1-866-469-7853. Mailing address is; Retired Military Golf Classic; PO Box 3608, Myrtle Beach, SC 29578 or go online at; www.patricia.com. Are you at least 61 years and 9 months young and plan to start receiving SSA retirement benefits within four months? Then you can apply for Social Security retirement benefits online at www.ssa.gov/applytoretire. Just follow their instructions. Wearing of the Uniform. Wearing of the
uniform is prohibited in connection with personal enterprises or activities
of a business nature. Also, when participating in any demonstration, assembly
or activity whose purpose is furtherance of personal or partisan views
on political, social, economic or religious issues. Military Funeral Honors.
Family members should inform their funeral directors if they desire military funeral honors for a veteran. VA national cemetery staff can help arrange for honors and veterans service organizations or volunteer groups may help provide honors. For more information, visit
the military funeral honors site: www.militaryfuneralhonors.osd.mil. * * * Senior Humor An elderly gentleman (mid 90s)
very well dressed, hair well groomed, great Seated at the bar is an elderly
looking lady, (mid 80s). The gentleman walks over, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
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The gentleman replied, "Oh,
I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around I've changed my will three times!"
"Slim, I'm 83 years old
now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
The two gentlemen were talking,
and one said, "Last night we went out to a I would recommend it very highly. The other man said, "What
is the name of the restaurant?" The first man "What is the name of that
flower you give to someone you love? You know... "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one,"
replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
However, while working as a
student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman After a chat about rules being
rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he
said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out
During a checkup, the doctor
tells them that they're physically okay, but Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure." "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks. "No, I can remember it." "Well, I'd like some strawberries
on top, too. Maybe you should write it He says, "I can remember
that. You want a bowl of ice cream with "I'd also like whipped
cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries
and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" After about 20 minutes, the
old man returns from the kitchen and hands his She stares at the plate for a moment. "Where's my toast?" ____________________________________________________________________________
"Yep!" "Do I know her?" "Nope!" "This woman, is she good looking?" "Not really." "Is she a good cook?" "Naw, she can't cook too well." "Does she have lots of money?" "Nope! Poor as a church mouse." "Well, then, is she good in bed?" "I don't know." "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?" "Because she can still drive!" ___________________________________________________________________
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." ________________________________________________________________________
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" Twelve thirty." ___________________________________________________________________________
A few days later, the doctor
saw Morris walking down the street with a A couple of days later, the
doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really Morris replied, "Just
doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be The doctor said, "I didn't
say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be ____________________________________________________________________________
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "Arthritis." Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You
grow old because you stop laughing.
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